Today I am going to post a different kind of post. A post which has not really to do something with internet marketing, but which I think is a great manifesto from a friend of mine about attitude and behavior. So enjoy the thoughts of someone I know very well and who is a true gentleman:
THE GENTLEMAN MANIFESTO
What is wrong in this world nowadays? I often see a lot of things happening around. Everybody can see how values loose their value in the eyes of mankind. But is that the way mankind really wants to live? The times have raised people to be a kind of instant society. Everyone just wants to get his sort of “instant fullfillment”. People want instant success, instant communications, instant responses, instant knowledge and if you cant find what you search for in a second on a searchengine it is out of your life. You can see people hunting for more fullfillment and while the way they hunt is just a secure path for more emptiness they step up to close the gap faster. A evil circle.
A few days ago at the airport i saw a couple arriving with luggage. Nothing unusual on the first view. They had two big suitcases and each of them took one of them. The woman was also carrying in additional to the suitcase, a large handbag. They didnt pick a luggage-van to carry the suitcases as they headed to the subway station. They start to walk with their suitcases. As you could see the man picked the one which seemed to be lighter and the woman pushed the one which was heavier but on rollers. While they where walking you could see that it was a pain for her to pull the suitcase because the rolls where old, damaged and the case was just too heavy to handle in high heels and the additional large handbag. He didnt care and just walked on without taking care of her. She had to stop every 10 steps to pause. He was about 20 meters in front of her and every single time he turned around he just rolled his eyes and ignored her begging for help.It was just a tragedy. Is that really the way woman wanna be treated in today? Is that the way men where raised?
Another situation….a club in the middle of the night. A big party was going on. Everyone was dancing and people where getting drunk. A lot of strange people around dancing on the floor. A woman stepped up to the dance floor and starts to dance. In a second she was surrounded by drunk men trying to impress her. You could just see in her eyes and the expression of her face that she was getting really annoyed and feeling unsecure and unwell. She was about to stop her dancing, which she started because she loves to dance (something you could just see by the way her expression was when she entered the dance floor), when she saw a open spot on the other side of the dancefloor. She went over and started to dance again. Like a pack of dogs the drunk men where trying to go behind her. Is that the way men where taught to treat women?
In that moment she saw a guy next to her dancing too, but in a nice way and she felt that this guy was different then the others. First of all the guy was dancing nice and good. Second he left enough space for her to dance and move without feeling oppressed. So she decided to move a bit more in the direction of this guy. The guy realized her “secret call for help” immediately and just moved, so that just while dancing he seperated the pack from her without acting harsh or needing to say one word. Both started to dance and from the first second you could see that the only intention the guy had was to make this woman happy for the few moments they could dance together. There was no bad intention in any movement – instead every single movemnet was just with one intention: to put her in the middle of the attention and make her smile. She started first slowly but with every smile they exchanged, with every dance move they did a good observer could see how her happiness increased. They didnt talk with words but their body language was clear. Every minute that passed by increased the smile on her lips. They danced two or three songs very intense and with so much fun that other people stopped to watch them dance. Then she decided to leave the dance floor and go back to her girlfriends, because she was exhausted. But she didnt just leave – no. She leaned over to the guy, that made her feel so special, and thanked him so much for this wonderful moments. Then she walked back and didnt’t see that he took care of her for a few more seconds when she crosses the pack. The moment he realizes she is safe back at her girlfriends, he leaves the dance floor and disappears in the darkness of the night club.
A crowded sushi bar…a woman is sitting at the counter. The only seat left open in the whole bar is on her left. She positioned herself so that her right side is free because of the alley and she could put her bags there. She was observing the people around her and you could see just by her breathing that there was a couple of “business men” sitting next to her which didnt make her feel much better. They where looking at her and then whispering to each other. Is that the way men need to behave to impress a woman?
A guy enters the sushi bar. Looks around sees the expression on her face and steps up to her. Gentle he asks if the seat next to her is free and if she would allow him to take a seat. She checks him from top to the bottom with just one quick scan and her gaze saw his dark brown eyes that where calm. She said, ” yes sure”. The pack next to her starts with a lot of unsecure movements to maximize the spot so the guy can take a seat. The guy didn’t say one word to them, but just by his presence they moved. She was continuing with her sushi and the guy ordered his food. They where sitting next to each other without saying one word. But she could feel his radiation of calmness. The guy understood that she was feeling insecure in the first place, so he decided to make her feel good. Every move he did was intentioned, so that she could see exactly what he was doing. He never turned his hands down, he never made one fast move, he never made one wrong movement. When he took place she started to take her stuff away, she had spread a bit over the sushi counter. He asked her to leave everything there. From the angle of his eyes he could see her observing him and every one of his movements. She was a well dressed business lady. But just by the way the guy acted, he calmed her down and let she feel secure. Her breathing modified and was calm. Whenever their eyes crossed she smiled and he smiled gently back. The guy didn’t say a single word. Out of nothing, while she was waiting for her bill, she asked him where he was going to fly and started a conversation. She felt great during the conversation – something you just could see by the smile on her face and the light in her eyes. When she wanted to put on her coat he just asked if she would allow him to help her…she said yes with a wonderful smile. When she left she said : If my flight should be delayed i will be back in a minute, will you be here? He just smiled and nodded.
Yesterday at the airport….a woman is sitting in the crowd surrounded by a lot of people waiting for her flight. She started to peel a fresh orange. The smell of orange fills the gate. She is so focused on what she is doing that she totally forgot to take out a napkin to clean her hands. Nobody realizes that. She continues to peel the orange and starts to eat. A wonderful smell of fresh peeled orange. Everybody looks at her, but no one sees her need around the corner. Are people so blind in these days?
A guy stands up slowly. He was observing her and immediately realizes the need she will have in a few minutes. She will have to open her bag with the dirty hands full of orange or she will have to take her bag with her dirty hands to go to the ladies room to clean them. The guy walks slowly to the bar around the corner, leaves his bags and jacket alone in the crowd. People aroung him observe him. He is listening to music with his ipod and has the earphones on. Slowly he walks back, earphones still on and only lowered the volume a bit. He gets closer to the woman with orange, stops in a range she can feel still confident, doesn’t take the earphones off to show her he will not try to get into a conversation with her and just asks gently if she would allow him to leave the napkins for her. She looks at him. Her eyes shine bright and clear. So clear that you can see the smile of her soul in her eyes. She says “Oh wonderful thank you”. The guy just smiles back, leaves the napkins, turns around with the wish of “Bon Appetit” and walks away back to his bags. She enjoys her orange, the napkins and boarded her flight with a smile on her lips.
These all are just some moments in the lives of different people. Moments where someone took the chance to make a difference in their lifes, just by making them happy for a few moments without any bad intentions and without selfishness.
When big crisis happen people tend to help and that is a good thing. When for example earthquakes strike our planet and people are in big need people like to help and feel free because they did it. And that is a good thing, but they should not distinguish between helping in such moments and acting like that in our daily lives.
We all live in a fast changing environment and it is our attitude that makes a difference in this world. Our attitude is the key to the secret of life. The questions we ask ourselves decide on what we focus. Our focus leeds to our attitude and our attitude leads to the standards we decide to live for. And our attitude leads to our actions and these lead to new questions.
In the old days when a man wanted to know a woman better he could send her a bouquet of flowers. The woman would feel honoured and special. Or he could send a present. She would feel the same. But these times have changed. Today is a dangerous place for true gentleman. Woman take flowers without thanking for them for example. Or they judge a true gentleman without taking the time to get to know him better.
When you act like the guy in the examples above, and prove so that you are a true gentleman (something that was a special consideration in the old days), you have to be careful in these modern times. People tend to call you names if you do so. They will call you a stalker, a ladys man, a flirt, a gigolo, a talebearer and so on. But these people forget thet just because they call names and just because they decided that they want to live their life by fullfilling lower standards then the ones a gentleman tries to fullfill, they will not really be happier.
If you know someone that acts on base of such lower standards, just ask them to look into the mirror and aks themselves one question: “Is your soul really happy?”
In life we always have the choice…in every moment. And in these moments when we all have to make these decisions is the moment when we shape our destiny. While we have this choice we can decide to make a difference in the lives of others more often then we think. A very special person told me: People find each other when there lifepaths cross, do well to each other and move on….but they leave a print of their personality (thank you Hayatim). You never know how much impact just a little action from you has in the life of someone else. You never know how much the guy above has really impacted the life of the women he treated in this special way. But it is not about results, it is about the attitude and the behaviour of a gentleman. To see them feel special and happy for a few seconds is more then enough for a gentleman.
This manifesto is no judgement. It is just a call to action for all the true gentleman out there. A call to wake you up and to remember where you really come from. A call to remember you to not lower your standards, just because the environment asks you to do so. A wake up call to remind you that you can be a difference in this world.
The gentleman writing these lines is not going to lower his standards – instead of this he is going to raise them higher then before. Why? Because that is it what a true gentleman really does. He raises his standards which lead to his actions and which define his attitude. You have the choice…….in every second of your life too.
This is your wake up call!
Sincerely,
a true gentleman
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